


to love and be loved

by seeyouthen1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Season/Series 15 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27640154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seeyouthen1/pseuds/seeyouthen1
Summary: **SEASON 15 FINALE SPOILERS**Maybe Heaven is overrated. Dean appreciates his slice of Heaven, don't get him wrong. But can it even be paradise when he never got to say it back?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	to love and be loved

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this immediately after I was present enough to focus after a bit of reflection on 15×20. This is for whoever was let down by the finale - so all of you <3 - signed, your friendly neighborhood clown.
> 
> I am a menace to society but I'm also on Tumblr. This Thursday was rough. 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/un-malfoyish

Dean is taking a drive. The sun is shining and there's an ever present feeling of peace. There's a smile on his face but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Everything is perfect, he's in Heaven, Sam is alive and the world keeps spinning but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

He stops at a lake side. Just to sit awhile, just because he knows he won't have to fight his way out this time. He leaves the door open though, the music lets him drift off better. He knows he should be over it, the things he never got to do, never got to say but it's okay to pretend. To imagine. He leans on the hood and crosses his arms, the sun on his skin and his eyes closed.

Late nights, late mornings, hands touching, comforting embraces, sly smiles, candlelit dinners and knickknacks they'll never use but bought anyway because "it's the colour of your eyes." Leaning over to kiss him at any time and any place just because he wanted to. Small whispers that echo into the silence "I love you, Dean." The unwavering response "I love you, too, Cas."

But he never got to say it did he? Dean opens his eyes again. It always hurts when he gets to that part. With a sigh he gets up, stretching his legs before taking the same road back.

_"Wise men say, only fools rush in..."_ Heaven radio always has a way of making him feel things. Dean walks up to the bridge slowly, and leans up on the railing, looking out at the water like he does everyday. It's okay to pretend. Dean's just decided to leave when the wind moves around him. Not naturally but in a familiar pattern, the fluttering of wings. "Took you long enough, I'm not getting any younger."

"Hello, Dean."

"You know there's something missing here. It doesn't feel like Heaven."

Cas frowns. "Is there something wrong? I could fix it."

"Nah, you already fixed it. Anywhere with you is Heaven."

The line was terrible but Cas is blushing now and that's all that matters. Blue eyes are firmly fixed on his and Dean takes a step forward. His hand is outstretched toward Cas's jaw with a silent question.

The moment is heavy with years of unanswered questions and missed opportunities. But it feels so right when Cas closes the space and kisses Dean. His hands go to Dean's shoulders. Dean reaches for Cas's face and cups his jaw on both sides, gently, like he's scared he'll disappear. The kiss is soft and might barely count as a kiss but it's for them. This moment is theirs and no one can take that from them.

Dean's hands fall from Cas's face and Cas moves to take a step back but Dean swiftly takes his hand into his own. "You think I'm going to let this go when I just got you back? I won't leave you, Cas, not again." Dean closes the space between them again, slowly leaning his forehead against Cas's. "Please. Let's go home."

"I thought you'd never ask."

They stay still for a second longer, committing every detail to memory because destiny always seems to try to pull these two apart. And they go. They run down to the Impala holding hands like they're teenagers on their first date. And they go, free to love and be loved and no one can take that from them.

Dean smiles and holds Cas's hand the whole drive. He thinks that maybe he will be okay after all.


End file.
